


complan boy

by desitonystark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack Treated Seriously, First Kiss, Fluff and Crack, Indian Tony Stark, James Rhodes is a lil shit, M/M, and Tony might be insecure about his height
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 04:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20576792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desitonystark/pseuds/desitonystark
Summary: Steve wants to know why Tony's so short (is it a health thing?)





	complan boy

  
Steve's been fidgeting outside Rhodey's room for about five minutes, and Rhodey is quite frankly getting annoyed.

He flings open the door, smiling at a startled Steve, "Can I help you Rogers?"

"No! I mean yes, maybe?"

Rhodey decides to take pity on the poor soul, he looks like a sad puppy when he's flustered, "What can I do for you Rogers?"

"Well uh," Steve says- rocking back on his heels, "Its more about what you can explain to me?"

"Mr and Mrs Stark visited the dorm earlier today, and they're uh- they're pretty tall right?" Rhodey nods and Steve continues, "So um, I was just wondering why Tony's so short?"

Rhodey, can't help it, he starts laughing.

"Not that there's anything wrong with his height!" Steve backtracks quickly, obviously having misunderstood why Rhodey's laughing, "I was just wondering if he was sick as a child and it stunted his growth or something."

To be fair to Steve, Rhodey knows why he's so worried. Tony hates being a stereotype, and his height is a complete sore point for him.

_"It doesn't matter that I'm taller than the average indian man Rhodey I'm still shorter than the average man!!"_

"It's because," Rhodey says in between chuckles because he loves being an absolute little shit to his bestfriend, "he didn't drink Complan as a child."

He closes the door before Steve can reply.

\--

"Tony?" He's shaken out of his stupor to see Steve leaning over him, holding out a flask.

"Ooh coffee gimme," he makes grabby hands and beams up at Steve.

"That's not actually- " Tony waves off Steve as he takes a huge swig of- _fuck him_ thats not coffee.

Because its rude to spit your drink out in a library, Tony swallows the drink before glaring up mutinously at Steve.

"That's not coffee," he says bitterly and Steve shrugs helplessly, "I tried to warn you."

"Its um," Steve bites his lip and Tony almost forgets the not-coffee incident, "Rhodey called it complan? I'm not sure what it is but he said it stunted your growth as a child?"

"First of all-" Tony sits up loudly, reducing his volume with Fury shushes him, "- first of all my growth wasn't stunted I am _taller than the average indian man."_

He punctuates the last words by jabbing at Steve's chest, grabbing his stuff and stalking out of the library.

His books are haphazardly pushed into his bag, and Tony watches from the corner of his eye as Steve picks up a couple of stray papers that fly out.

"Second of all," he says spinning around at the end of the hall to look up at Steve, "Complan does *nothing* for your height its a marketing gag for sales. Your bestfriend Bucky could've told you that being a bio major."

"And third of all," Tony says; simmering down because Steve looks genuinely apologetic, "never, EVER listen to Rhodey because he never gives good advice."

He walks off with a huff, leaving Steve looking after him despondently.

\--

There's three knocks at his door, and Tony knows its Steve- but he refuses to answer.

"Tony please open the door I'm really sorry," Steve's voice is muffled through the wood- but Tony refuses to budge.

He continues to eye himself in the mirror, bending this way and that.

He knows that he isn't as tall as most of his friends, but objectively speaking, 5'10 isn't that bad right?

Its nothing compared to Steve's 6'3 or Rhodey's impressive 6'5; or even his father's 6'1 but surely it isn't anything to laugh at.

Hell even Clint is 5'9 and he's white what's his excuse? Tony has generations of short people to fall back on but nobody says anything to Clint.

Outside, Steve is still talking, "..I was sick a lot as a child, and I never grew past like 5'2 until I had a late growth spurt and I just thought something similar had happened to you as a child I'm really sor -"

Steve stops talking when Tony opens the door, squinting at him.

"You were 5'2? Bullshit."

"Honest to god I even have photos," Steve's voice goes shrill, and maybe Tony's been a bit harsh on him.

After all, this is all Rhodey's fault.

"You really were just asking because you were worried about my health?"

Steve nods empathically, "I love your height, you're the perfect kissing height."

Steve goes _eep_ when he realises what he just said, but Tony is suddenly a lot more interested in this conversation.

He lets his door shut behind him, sidling up so he's not more than a breath away from Steve.

"Perfect kissing height huh?" He says, leaning up to his toes to whisper into Steve's ears, "Been thinking a lot about kissing me Steve-o?"

To his credit, Steve doesn't clam up even though he's as red as a beet, "Among other things yeah," he says in a breathy whisper, and oh doesn't that just do things to Tony.

He leans back slightly so he's lined up against Steve's lips, "What other things?" he murmers and clearly Steve has had enough, because he pushes Tony up against his dorm door and closes the distance between them.

"Why don't you let me in and I'll show you," he says- hand reaching out to twist the knob while he presses his lips to Tony's and works on making Tony breathless.

_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> anyway you have to be super fucking desi to get the absolute crack that this fic is, but basically complan is one of those “powders that you add to milk for kids”, and their marketing gig was that they included nutrients to help you grow taller basically. idk if how true it is, but in between shows you’d get this one random ad where the kid would go “im a complan boy” at the end and it was pure jokes
> 
> //
> 
> [tumblr saw it first](https://ad1thi.tumblr.com/post/187466163112/complan-boy)  
[my ig](https://www.instagram.com/desi_tonystark/)  



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